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Thread: Funny joke / pic thread !

  1. #81
    Q: What is a man's ultimate embarrassment?

    A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose

  2. #82
    A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
    'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
    'Not yet,' she replied.

  3. #83
    Q: What do the Maple Leafs, Argonauts and Blue Jays all have in common besides being based in Toronto?
    A: None of them can play hockey.

    Q: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
    A: They both look good, until they hit the ice!

    Q: What's the difference between the Maple Leafs and a cigarette vending machine?
    A: The vending machine has Players.

    Q: What do the Maple Leafs and whales have in common?
    A: They both get totally confused when surrounded by ice.

    And finally ...: The last time the Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup, most of their fans were in diapers.
    Coincidentally, the next time they win it, those same fans likely will be back in diapers, again!

  4. #84
    Moderator Hammer's Avatar
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    Ha !
    The problem is not the car.....it's the biscuits.

  5. #85
    poor leafs, they should ask if Guy Lafleur is available.

  6. #86
    Father Guido Sarducci's 5 minute University :

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO8x8eoU3L4

    I like his Economics course.

  7. #87
    Moderator Hammer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Made-in-Italy View Post

    I like his Economics course.
    I think you will like this better

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_ObD3RWYAmY
    The problem is not the car.....it's the biscuits.

  8. #88
    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.


    David Bissonette
    I think the same can be said if the other way around

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together..


    Sacha Guitry




    By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.?
    Socrates





    Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.


    Anonymous






    The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"


    Dumas





    I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

    Sigmund Freud






    'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'


    Anonymous






    'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.?? It's called marriage.'

    Sam Kinison






    'I've had bad luck with both my wives.?
    The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'


    James Holt McGavra






    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming?
    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,?
    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.


    Patrick Murra






    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....


    Nash




    You know what I did before I married??
    Anything I wanted to.

    Anonymous






    My wife and I were happy for twenty years.?
    Then we met.


    Henny Youngman






    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.




    Rodney Dangerfield






    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.?
    They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

    Anonymous





    First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'?
    Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

    Anonymous

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