Page 5 of 5 FirstFirst ... 345
Results 81 to 88 of 88

Thread: Funny joke / pic thread !

  1. #81
    Q: What is a man's ultimate embarrassment?

    A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose

  2. #82
    A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
    'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
    'Not yet,' she replied.

  3. #83
    Q: What do the Maple Leafs, Argonauts and Blue Jays all have in common besides being based in Toronto?
    A: None of them can play hockey.

    Q: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
    A: They both look good, until they hit the ice!

    Q: What's the difference between the Maple Leafs and a cigarette vending machine?
    A: The vending machine has Players.

    Q: What do the Maple Leafs and whales have in common?
    A: They both get totally confused when surrounded by ice.

    And finally ...: The last time the Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup, most of their fans were in diapers.
    Coincidentally, the next time they win it, those same fans likely will be back in diapers, again!

  4. #84
    Moderator Hammer's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    I need a shower
    Ha !
    The problem is not the's the biscuits.

  5. #85
    poor leafs, they should ask if Guy Lafleur is available.

  6. #86
    Father Guido Sarducci's 5 minute University :

    I like his Economics course.

  7. #87
    Moderator Hammer's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    I need a shower
    Quote Originally Posted by Made-in-Italy View Post

    I like his Economics course.
    I think you will like this better
    The problem is not the's the biscuits.

  8. #88
    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

    David Bissonette
    I think the same can be said if the other way around


    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together..

    Sacha Guitry

    By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.?

    Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.


    The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"


    I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

    Sigmund Freud

    'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'


    'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.?? It's called marriage.'

    Sam Kinison

    'I've had bad luck with both my wives.?
    The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'

    James Holt McGavra

    Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming?
    1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,?
    2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

    Patrick Murra

    The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....


    You know what I did before I married??
    Anything I wanted to.


    My wife and I were happy for twenty years.?
    Then we met.

    Henny Youngman

    A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

    Rodney Dangerfield

    A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.?
    They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'


    First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'?
    Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts